The Space Between Visits

I love being welcomed by a new family. And, when I walk into a house, I usually get the same download.

“He doesn't want to be set down.”
“I think she has more gas.”
“I don’t know… something just feels off.”

They turn off the TV, start the dishwasher and go up to bed....it’s as if  they’ve been holding their breath since the last time I was there.

That’s when I feel it. The energy of the “in-between”. The hours since my last visit. The late-night Googling. The quiet panic that creeps in when trying to decide if something is actually wrong or if this is just what newborn-life feels like.

On occasion, something is wrong. And when it is, I acknowledge it. I tell them it's time to loop in the pediatrician. I help them with the language describing ( or I help them articulate) what they’re seeing so they can be taken seriously. THIS is crucial support.

But most of the time?

What I encounter, isn’t a problem....it’s a phase: a new nervous system adjusting, hormones recalibrating, a family learning about each other in real time.

That’s where having the support changes everything.

I’M NOT A NURSE.
I’M NOT A NANNY.
I’M A DOULA.

I don’t come in with a script or a checklist. I come in to watch, to listen, to notice patterns. To say things like, “Try cutting eggs for a few days,” or “This actually looks normal for this age,” or “Let’s slow this down before we assume something’s wrong.”

Not because I have all the answers, but because I know how to quiet the noise just enough for families to hear themselves again.

My job isn’t to take over, it’s to work myself out of a job. It’s to walk in to a very private space, when everything feels loud and uncertain, and then leave knowing a family feels more secure than when I arrived. It’s knowing that they can trust their instincts with more confidence, not feel like they need to consult ten new books, or find updated sites, or second-guess every move.

What surprises me, even now, is how powerful that shift can be...from the first visit to the last. You can feel it: shoulders drop, questions soften, the urgency fades.  Confidence starts to replace fear. The energy in the house is calmer, warmer and more sure of itself!

As the New Year approaches, I’ve been thinking about how fast those precious first months of a newborn’s life goes.  How easy it is to rush through these early weeks trying to “do it right.” I know I did. Even with support, I moved fast. I didn’t always slow down enough to notice how much was happening in front of me.

Now, sitting in these quiet houses at night, I see how much things can change when someone helps you slow the moment down instead of speeding through it.

That’s the work I know how to do.
Not fixing families.
Not handing out rules.
But helping people find their footing in one of the most tender transitions of their lives... so they don’t look back wondering where the time went.

If any of this feels familiar to new parents, that’s not an accident. This is the space we work in.....helping families slow things down, making sense of what’s happening, and feeling more confident in the middle of it. You don’t have to do it alone.